Friday, June 18, 2010

life changing thoughts on a friday morning

As my time with the bank winds down (for those of you who don't know I'll be laid off in the next 3 months or so due to the elimination of my department) I find myself really really scared and worried about failing in life.  I haven't had a chance yet to fail career wise.  I started at the bank 2 weeks after graduating from college.  6 years later I am still working for the same company; unfortunately all that has changed while here is my cubicle location.  I manged to go back to school during my tenure at the bank and graduated with my masters in business administration.  Pro - didn't have to pay for school.  Con - have not done ANYTHING with this degree. 

Kids ask themselves day after day, what should I be when I grow up?  Have I regressed back to that point in my life when I can seriously think about what I want to do, career wise?  Have I been given a second chance to do something bigger and better with my life? 

I am probably one of the most risk averse individuals in the world.  I hate change and shudder at uncertainty.  Plus I am not worried about one person anymore; I have Ryan and Honey to think about.  Decisions from this point forward have to be thought out and reasoned with, and not taken lightly.

So as I sit here, in my cubicle, my mind wanders to hobbies I like or would like to have.  Photography and cooking top the list.  As this wheel in my head keeps turning I use "google" to search for culinary schools in Atlanta.  Before I know it I'm chatting with someone from the school asking questions about the program length and cost.  9 months and $18,000 later I would have a certificate from Le Cordon Bleu culinary academy.  So then what?  Would that be just a way to pass the time for 9 months?  Would I truly want a career in the culinary world? 

It's Friday and I can't even enjoy the fact that the weekend is here and I only have 2 more hours of work left (love half days).  I should put the life decisions on hold and go back to being happy it's summer and my weekend is free of life changing events. 

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